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Check Out 153 Witty And Funny Cactus Names!

Check Out 153 Witty And Funny Cactus Names!

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Getting a new plant friend without giving it a name is a big no-no!

Giving your plant a name will definitely make you feel more connected to it – just imagine how funny it would be to tell your boyfriend that you have to water Mark, but you are just talking about your plant!

He might be jealous for a bit, but it would definitely lead to some sweet chuckles.

As well as giving your plants human names, you can also get creative with some funny names that light up your mood, or maybe it could be an inside joke between your roommates — the possibilities are endless!

I’ve done some research and gathered loads of funny cactus names for all the cacti in your plant collection.

So, let’s dive straight in!

Funny Cactus Names

Cacti are one of the easiest plants to grow — they don’t require watering that often, you can put them literally anywhere because they aren’t picky about lighting, and you won’t have to worry about giving them plant food.

As well as their low-maintenance, these succulent plants are absolutely adorable!

They can fit in any home decor, and I honestly think that they work the best in minimalist home styles because their deep green color blends in perfectly.

Common names given to cacti houseplants are based on their appearance. As they are covered in tiny spikes all over their surface that can easily sting you, cacti plants are often given names such as “pointy” or “spiky”.

Good names can also come from the TV shows like “prickle rick”, which is a reference to a funny TV show called “Rick and Morty”.

Let’s look at some of the funny cactus names first, before we see cute cactus names later on!

Names Based On Cacti Spikes

Cacti developed spikes instead of leaves because they are from a very dry environment. They prevent cacti from losing water by lowering air flow around the plants, and the spikes also protect them from getting eaten by animals.

These spikes are unique and adorable, although they can be dangerous too. I can’t tell you how many times I have stung myself on these little devils!

My cats hate them as well, which is why I usually put my cacti on a shelf out of reach of pets and kids — it just isn’t worth the risk.

If you have one of these little spiky plants, it’s time to give them some punny names so your friends and family can have a laugh.

Here are some common names based on cacti spikes:

• Spiky

• Porky/porkie (short for porkupine — these also have spikes all over!)

• Needles (kind of like poodles)

• Pointy

• Pokey

• Porcupine (itself)

• Piercy boy

• Prickle

• Sharpie

• Spikasaurus Rex

• Stingy

• Ouchie

Name Ideas With Double Meanings

Sometimes a cactus plant can look like… well, you know what – especially if it grows upwards!

My mom had to hide her cactus because it developed two small and round cacti around the base of the main cactus — she was so embarrassed, but it always made us all chuckle. Funny how nature works, am I right?

Well, if your cactus starts growing in an inappropriate manner, there is only one option – to give your cactus a nickname with a double meaning!

Subliminal messages are always spicy and fun, especially if you’re discussing them with your crush or partner.

You could say to your date, “ it looks like my cactus is excited to see you!”.

Pick one of these names and try your luck 🙂

• Woody

• Bone

• Big Prick

• Little Prick

• Big Boy

• Big Gun

• Woody Allan

• Top Gun

• Chub

• Long Dong

• Horny

• Stryker

• Eggplant

• Snake plant

• Dick Prick

Ironic Cactus Names

When you grow a cactus as a houseplant, there is always a risk of getting hurt. We all know that touching cacti plants is a big no-no, so why not name it something completely opposite?

Imagine telling your friend that your cactus is your snuggle buddy — they would probably think that you are some kind of masochist!

Ironic cactus names are definitely my favorite, and here are some perfect names that mean the exact opposite of what they represent:

• Huggie

• Snuggles

• Hug Bunny

• Cuddles

• Ruff

• Bubbles

• Fluffy

Non-ironic Cactus Names

Now that we have covered some ironic cactus names, let’s talk about some names that speak the truth — cacti plants are painful!

I can’t count how many times I have accidentally hurt myself on these little pricks, even though I am fully aware that they are extremely painful!

Some might say that getting stung by a cactus feels like tickling, but in my case it’s a burning tickling that always leaves a mark! Therefore, some of my little cacti are named after exactly what they represent — pain!

Here are some non-ironic cactus names that represent cacti in their true light:

• Ouchie

• ThatHurt

• Painy

• Sir Stabbington

• Ms. Prickley

• Stung Bee

• PokeBear

Rhyming Plant Names

Some might say that there is no fun in rhyming, but I would tell them it’s all about timing!

Rhyming is fun, especially when it is related to something or someone, and it can be useful for memorizing important things like passwords (I still have to sing my little rhymes to remember my email password!).

Some sweet rhymes roll off the tongue naturally, so why not have fun with plant names as well?

Here are some of the best rhyming plant names for cacti plants!

• Rick The Prick

• Senior Saguaro (Saguaro is a type of cacti plant)

• Xena the Xerophyte

• Atticus the Acupuncturist

• Dill Prickle

• Prickle Monster

• Prickly Pete

• Carl the Cactus

• Serena the Succulent

• Katniss the Cactus

• Cedric

• Peter The Prick

• Peter Prickin’

• Smokey Pokey

• Stabby Daddy

• Christofern

Cactus Names Based On TV Shows & Movies


Similarly to the section mentioned before, you can use something you are a fan of to name your new cactus plant!

It’s funny to have “Prickle Rick” in your house instead of just a nameless plant.

Naming your plant after something that you like reveals more about you.

I mean, only really cool people watch Rick and Morty, right?

Without further adieu, let’s look at some cactus names based on TV shows and characters:

• Prickle Rick — this is our first one, duh!

• Spike Lee — the famous director

• Mc Hammer — “Can’t touch this”

• Merida — after a Disney character that lives in a Scottish castle, perfect for a fairy castle cactus

• Pokiemon — who didn’t watch Pokemon?

• Pokachu — from Pokemon as well, or should I say Pokiemon?

• Pok-Man — reference to the famous game, “Pac-Man”

• Angelica Prickles — a reference to “Rugrats”

• Elsa — could also be used as a name for fairy castle cactus, referencing “Frozen”

• Bloat — after a puffy fish from “Finding Nemo”

• Spongebob Sharppants — referencing the famous cartoon, “Spongebob Squarepants”

• Prick and Morty — also a reference to “Rick and Morty”

• Tony Saguaro — after Tony Soprano, could be used if you are growing a Saguaro cactus

• Bugsy or Doc — if you are growing a bunny ear cactus

• Stabley Kowalski — referencing “ A Streetcar Named Desire”

• Luke Skypoker — instead of Luke Skywalker, referencing Star Wars

• Atticus Pinch — from “How To Kill A Mockingbird”

• Obi-wan — also a reference to Star Wars, and great for if you are growing a rat tail cactus because Ewan McGregor had a rat tail!

• Pokahontas — the perfect name

• Pricky Bobby — a reference to “Talladega Nights”

• Corporal Pricks — a reference to “Aliens”

• Stabley Ipkiss — a reference to “The Mask”

• Marty — great for a zebra cactus, referencing a character from “Madagascar”

• Fuzz Lightyear — if you are growing an Old man cactus

• Peach or Peach Of Princess — if you are growing a Prickly pear cactus

• CactSUS — reference to the game “Among us”

• Whiskey — referencing the Barrel cactus also known as Opuntia

• Tian-tian — after the famous panda from The National Zoo, ideal for a zebra cactus

• Smelly Cact — referencing the song played by Phoebe Buffay, “Smelly Cat”, in Friends

Cactus Names Based On Pop Culture

We have already covered the movie genre, so we now have to talk about some gems from pop culture — I mean, I can’t let Britney Pierce go by unnoticed!

Similar to before, naming your plants after something you like is always a great idea because it says a lot about your character (plus, it’s funny to have a plant named after a famous singer!).

Some of the names listed below were familiar before, and some of them I made up — however, you can get creative and make up your own name after someone famous… you get the idea.

Now, let’s look at some cactus names based on pop culture:

• Britney Pierce — after the famous singer Britney Spears

• Poker Face — referencing a song by Lady Gaga

• Spikes McGee

• Cactina Turner — a reference to the popular Tina Turner

• Harry Spikes — a reference to Harry Styles

• Cactus Everdeen

• PewDieSpike — a reference to a famous YouTuber called Pewdiepie

• Blue Ivy — a reference to Beyonce’s daughter, can be used for the Blue column cactus

• Old st.Nick — for a Christmas cactus

• Poke Smoke — a reference to the popular rapper called Pop Smoke

Cute Cactus Names

Cute cacti plants definitely deserve cute names, although some of them are so adorable that you don’t even have to name them because the cuteness speaks for itself!

However, there are a lot of cute names that you can use to name your cactus or any other plant. In fact, most of the names listed below have beautiful symbolic meanings, so you can use them as kids or pet names as well.

Here is a list of cute cactus names:

• Mr.Moon — if you are growing a Moon cactus

• Stabitha

• Ms. Prickly

• Dr. Green Thumb

• Greenie

• The Green One

• Blossom — for any cactus plant that produces flowers

• Baby Bulbous — if you are growing a round-shape cactus

• Sunshine

• Tiny

• Granny — if you are growing an Old lady cactus

• Cherub — if you are growing a Small angel wing cactus

• Verde — means green

• Minnie — inspired by a Disney character, could be used if you are growing tiny cacti plants

• Flora — this name could be used for any plant as it represents the whole plant kingdom

• Baby Pricky

• Hope — hope never dies, right?

• Babygirl

• Babyboy

• Emerald

• Gem

• Love

• Sprout

Girl Names For Cacti Plants

If you are growing small delicate cacti, then a girl’s name would probably suit it best. Luckily, there are a lot of girls’ names that have beautiful meanings, so you can also use them to name your plants.

I absolutely love explaining how my dog Luna got her name and the meaning behind it — and the same thing goes for my plants too (I call my Monstera plant Layla because it’s dark and beautiful!).

Here is a list of girl names that work well for cacti plants:

• Chloe — according to Greek mythology, Chloe literally means green shoots

• Sylvia — means forest in Latin

• Arabella — stands for lovely and elegant in Latin

• Callie — Greek for the most beautiful

• Diana — Latin for Moon goddess, could be used for Moon cactus

• Farrah — Arabic for happy

• Layla — Egyptian for Dark beauty

• Stella — stands for a star in Greek

• Vivian — means full of life in Latin

• Zahra — means flower in Arabic

• Reveka — stands for captivating in Hebrew, ideal for your prettiest cactus

• Samantha — means listener in Hebrew (if you talk with your plants, then this is the perfect name!)

Boy Names For Cacti Plants

When you grow cacti plants, you might notice that some of them are more gentle and delicate, while others grow sturdy and thick — well, you could use boy names for these kinds of cacti plants so that you have both!

There are a lot of beautiful boy names, and they also have special meanings. Of course, if you find a name you like, you can also use it to name your pets or a newborn (that would make me so happy!).

Let’s look at some boy names perfect for cacti plants:

• Aiden — means the sun god in Celtic

• Austin — means majestic dignity in Latin

• Chance — stands for good fortune in English

• Ethan — strong, safe, and firm in Hebrew

• Henry — means a ruler of a household in German

• Oswald — stands for divine power in English

• Zane — stands for God’s gracious gift in Hebrew

• Magnus — means the greatest in Latin

• Noah — stands for rest and peace in Hebrew

• Jesse — stands for the gift in Hebrew

• Phoenix — stands for blood red in Greek

• Sebastian — which means venerable in Greek

• David — which means beloved in Hebrew

Cactus Names For A Business

Are you planning to open a new garden shop that is all about cacti plants, or are you trying to open a cafe with a plant theme but still can’t figure out a name?

Well, let us save you some trouble by blessing you with our creative name ideas!

I am sure that starting a new business can be frightening, especially when you have a lot at risk — but hey, with a killer name and hard work, anything is possible. If you are opening a plant-based cafe, I would suggest you stay away from scientific names regarding any plant in particular.

I mean, who says let’s go grab a coffee at Epipremnum aureum?

You should instead pick a cute name that is related to a cute plant, like the fantastic cactus!

Here are some great cactus names for a business:

• Believe in cactUS — though this works more like a slogan, I can see some cool magic herbal shop with this name.

• Cacti Care — if you are a botanist who constantly gets calls about taking care of various plants and vegetables, try your luck and open a business called “Cacti Care” to provide your clients with the best advice about plants!

• Cacti Landscaping Service — if your landscaping service is plant based, specifically cacti based, then this is an ideal name for your business.

• The Cactus Shoppe

• Thorny Roses — this is a great name if you’re opening a new garden shop that is all about cacti plants and roses.

• Supreme Succulents — a great name for a shop that only sells succulents, such as aloe and cacti.

• The Cactus Crew — this name is kind of self-explanatory, though your services don’t have to be limited to cacti plants only.

• Point Cacti

• Fuzzy Cacti

To Sum Up

Naming your plants is always fun!

I mean, telling your friends that you have a cactus called “Smelly Cact” or “Britney Pierce” will undoubtedly lead to some chuckles — and let’s not forget about the double meaning funny cactus names, where you can use a name such as “Woody Allan” to light up the conversation.

If you are more into naming your plant with something meaningful, you can’t go wrong with names such as Aiden, David, Layla, or Diana… the list goes on and on!

As far as I am concerned, I love telling my boyfriend that I am going home to Ethan (which is a name for my Philo plant) – even though he knows I am talking about a plant, there is some jealousy there that I always tease him about!

But hey, live love laugh, right?

I hope this article was helpful!

Until next time!

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